There’s something… I can’t pinpoint what it is exactly, but I can just feel it. It’s freezing in here – but I’m sweating. I can’t breathe && the world around my is spinning out of control. Or maybe it’s the after-cold & the fact that I’ve been falling asleep on the couch for the past few days.  

Something is wrong with the sum of us. That I just can’t seem to erase. You’re laughing out loud at just the thought of being alive. And I was wondering, could I just be you tonight? You show your pain like it really hurts, and I can’t even start to feel mine. I’m just standing in place with my head hurt and I’m shaking, and I see you running off into the distance, your progress stretched out for miles. “Good bye my dear, I’ll see you in a thousand years” These are the words I’ve chosen, somehow the right thing to say just won’t come out. I wonder how you sleep at night; I wonder what you think of me. If I could go back, or actually if I could fallow, would you still be with me. I want you be unleashed, I want you to remember, I want you to forget, and I want you to believe in me. I really just want you by my side. I want to just lay it all down. Here and now, give all that is in me. I need a savior. I need a downfall. Here we go again, ashamed of being broken-in; we’ve gotten off track. I wanted you to linger just for a few more hundred years. Someone said “It’s going to end”, realizations such as this really make you think. I wonder what’s going to happen though, afterwards. If all of us will keep in touch after we fall apart. I can’t feel it now. What’s wrong with me? It bothers me, but it keeps rolling off like its water. It’s pooling somewhere. I’m going to drown.  Tthis could be the difference between what you need and what you want. Every word you never said echoes down your empty hallway. Everything that was your world just fell down. Day breaking on the boulevard. Feel the sun warming up your second hand heart. I found this out on a late night drive; in my winter coat and my blood shot eyes. My faith hasn’t been so nice to me and the way I sin is hanging off of me. I’m sorry, I can’t take you anywhere. Soon you’ll be there. It’s been a long, long night and I’m way, way tired. We really don’t need any backup plans.  

-Melanie